New Orleans, San Diego and Omaha??
by Silvia on June 22, 2011
in Coaching, Entrepreneur, Mindset, Wellness
My Husaband and I at Oak Alley
How are things?? Keeping busy?
Yeah me too. I hope you aren’t burning out though. In fact, I’ve realized that I’ve built up a LOT more capacity and to tell you the truth I am LOVING it. In fact starting last week, I embarked on my whirlwind tour around the country. My husband and I were in New Orleans on vacation, returning for a few days before I set off to San Diego. Later this month I head to Omaha where I get to meet up with the other members of the board that I’m on. To tell you the truth, in the past I would have been burnt out, but now, I seem to have more energy than ever. And can I tell you a secret?? The only thing I did was shift taking care of myself to be number 1 priority. To “indulge” in things that I enjoy and to connect with people that give me energy.
As a woman and entrepreneur we are meant to keep our energy up so that we can take care of others. The only way I have found to do this, is to take care of ourselves first. Now that I’m finally allowing that concept to be incorporated into my life and not beating myself up or questioning what I’m doing I’m noticing my business and personal life are better than ever. So, when I feel like getting a massage, I do it. When I want to take a break from work, I do that too. If I feel like sleeping 9 hours I allow it to happen. No judgment, no worry, no second guessing.
I encourage you, for the next 2 weeks to jump on in and take care of yourself. Without judgment, worry or questioning, do the things that you feel would serve you and just see how you and your business will expand.
Together Let’s Thrive,
P.S. Leave me a comment below and let me know what you notice
What my dad’s passing has taught me, for now
As many of you have heard my father passed away at the end of October. He was diagnosed with a rare disease called Primary Amyloid. It had gone undetected for several years, and by the time the specialists at UCSF made the diagnosis, there had been so much damage to his heart – it was functioning at 40% at time of diagnosis – four months later his body failed him.
On October 22nd he was hospitalized at UCSF. He was battling pneumonia and his heart function was down to 15%. A few days later, his kidneys began failing and we knew we wouldn’t have much more time with him. The doctors and nurses at UCSF helped us make him as comfortable as possible in those last days and as we said our goodbyes and began grieving for him. During that time I began thinking about how much he had contributed to the world. And as I thought about all the amazing things he had done, I began to wonder what I was going to take away from this experience to help me continue moving forward. It is my belief that we are all on a journey, learning from each other and from every experience. This has been the toughest experience for me to date, however I want to share what I have learned so far in this experience:
- We are all remarkable beings capable of much more than we give ourselves or each other credit for. Each person is remarkable in their own way, and although I have made that declaration in the past, this time I understand it much more deeply.
- All we want in life is to be “seen”. To be really seen and acknowledged as someone who exists, has feelings and contributes to the world in our own unique ways. When you can give someone else the gift of being seen, you will be seen in your own uniqueness as well.
- I have a deeper understanding and appreciation for what lies within each of us. It is my goal to continue seeing people in a way that truly acknowledges them, and reveals to them the greatness that they may not see within themselves.
- We must live each day to the fullest. We can’t postpone things until tomorrow when really tomorrow may never come. If there are things you truly want to do, that wont endanger others, then find a way to get them done. Life is too short to live with regrets.
- We are always learning and growing. Each challenge in life is truly a gift, and when you can see the world in that way, it will make your journey through it, all the more fruitful.
In the end, we all make choices that dictate our life’s path. The last four months I chose to spend the time helping my parents, as we hoped for a miracle, battling with insurance and keeping track of doctor’s visits and keeping track of medications and procedures. I have no regrets about that time in my life. I’m sure as I get more distance new learnings will come up and I will discover more about myself than I had ever imagined. I wont pretend that losing my dad was/is easy, however the lessons I’ve learned in this process and the ones he taught me over the years are priceless. I will keep learning and processing especially over this first year without him. As more stuff comes up for me, I’ll keep on posting!
Starting a business is a mental exercise
by Silvia on August 13, 2009
in Change, Coaching, Entrepreneur, General, Law of Attraction, Mindset, NLP, Wellness
I have made reference in past articles, that the difference that makes the difference in who succeeds in the transition from corporate life to entrepreneur is mindset. When you train yourself to look at the opportunities, to move forward with a mindset of what’s possible, rather than fear, you move forward much quicker. In this video, Tony Robbins talks about the mental fortitude that will help people get through this economic crisis. My view is that if you take the time and build up this fortitude now, then you will be in a much better position as we move out of this economic downfall and move towards the boom once more.
How to conquer your inner critic
by Silvia on July 21, 2009
in Career Transition, Change, Coaching, Entrepreneur, General, Mindset, Wellness
My clients often ask, “How do I continue moving forward towards my dreams, when I have an inner saboteur?” We all have dreams that can be derailed by our inner critic. The critic tells us that what we want is impossible. That we can’t, we are incapable, or that what we want will never be. Often times we dismiss the critic, referring to it as the thing that keeps us “real” or “grounded” and so we give up on our dreams and ourselves. Do we need to succumb to the inner critic; to allow it to rule our lives and dreams? The truth is you don’t need to live tormented with your inner gremlins. First you need to take a moment to assess how this critical voice is impacting you. Ask yourself, “Is this voice serving or hindering me?” If you feel it is, then just know that it is there to continue guiding you as you move through life. If it is not helping you, then it is time to let it go!
So how do you fight your own critical voice? That’s just it, you don’t! How many times have you tried to fight yourself? It’s a no win situation. That is why the key is to learn how to integrate it so that it is in alignment with the rest of you, not in conflict with your other thoughts and actions. There are many ways of letting go or integrating the inner critic, below are just a few:
Sometimes it’s enough to acknowledge that the inner critic is there. It loosens its hold from your thoughts by virtue of conscious awareness of its presence. Still, for many of us, it has a strong hold and if that is the case for you there are other avenues to try. You can use a coach or therapist as a guide, or you might try the following. First, find out what the intent of the critic is, to know its purpose is to acknowledge the reason it exists. By understanding the purpose, you can opt for a more integrated way of honoring the inner critic and its purpose. For example, if your inner critic’s purpose is to keep you financially secure, you might put a plan together to ensure financially security while you pursue your dream. By putting a financial plan together, you fulfill the inner critic’s purpose in a way that is integrated with you and your dream instead of in conflict.
The more in harmony you are with all parts of you, the more you will accomplish. Try it out; you may be surprised with what you find!
The Millionaire Mind
by Silvia on April 21, 2009
in Change, Coaching, Entrepreneur, General, Law of Attraction, NLP, Wellness
I’ve had a number of clients recently say they’ve read/attended “The Millionaire Mind”. These clients also seemed to know, or at least were familiar with, some of the NLP processes that I use during my coaching sessions, thus I was intrigued about what it was they were learning through “The Millionaire Mind”. I was also intrigued because I’ve adapted my WealthyMind materials into what I’ve called “The Empowered Mind Workbook”, which is focused 100% on self-alignment, which will help you achieve all that you want.
Anyway, true to the Law of Attraction, I received “The Millionaire Mind” book as a gift, within weeks of thinking that I really needed to read the book. So I started flipping through the book and found that much of it is very familiar to me. Some of it was new, or at least positioned in a different way, which allowed me to pull some really great nuggets of information from it.
One nugget I’d like to share with you is listed below and is in regards to “Negativity”. The reason this jumped out at me was because I was recently having lunch with an ex-colleague and dear friend of mine, when we got on the topic of how happy we were and what a bummer it was to connect with other people that weren’t feeling as happy and at peace these days and how it felt like such a drain on energy to be talking to people who were constantly complaining.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we work as coaches with some folks that are in this pattern however, the difference is that these people, whom we work with, are making a real commitment to making whatever changes are required to help them live a happy and fulfilling life.
So, this activity, that is outlined in “The Millionaire Mind”, really spoke to me, and now I’m passing it along to you!
Good luck and report back with your experience!
Seven Day Challenge
For the next seven days, the challenge is to not complain – out loud or in your head. You can only speak in “positive” terms. In a way, this is like forcing yourself to see the “silver lining” in every situation. As I’ve mentioned before, gratitude has been proven to help your immune system, and in a way, being positive and refraining from complaining, is a bit like being grateful!
So start today! Carve out seven days of “no complaining” and away you go!
What is your core question?
Recently I was working with my coach on identifying and changing my “core question”, also known as a “primary question”. Why would one want to make this discovery and shift? Well, our core question is the One question we ask ourselves on a regular basis, regardless of the circumstances. It is a question that can either help us or hinder us. Mine, as it turned out, was no longer helping me in leading the life I wanted to lead. What was it you ask? Well it was as follows:
“How can I be the best, and most put together in this situation?”
On the surface it doesn’t seem so bad, but when you dig a little deeper, you realize how much it gets in the way. It caused me to not try out new things or, if I did, I worked EXTREMELY hard to get good at them quickly. It stopped me from participating in conversations where I did not perceive myself as the “best” or “most put together”. I was tired of living that way and wanted to be able to ease up on myself, so I adopted a new core question, which is:
“How can I best support myself and others?”
This new question has been so liberating for me and has allowed me to further align myself with my dreams.
So think about it, what is your core question and how might you want to change it?
Life happens
Have you ever noticed that no matter how well things are going, life just happens? A few weeks back I was basking in the glow of my life – my marriage was strong as ever, I was connecting with friends and family and business was great (Yes, business is great, despite the economy). As I continued to stroll along through life, grateful for every day and opportunity that came my way, I received one of those dreaded phone calls ….
I was in the middle of a coaching session with a new client, helping him to get clarity about what he wanted to do in life. He had recently been laid off and was uncertain he wanted to keep on the same career path. About halfway through the coaching session, I could hear my home phone ringing. This in and of itself was not a problem, given that I work from home and handle my coaching mostly over the phone. Then my cell phone started ringing. “Hmmmmm”, I thought, “That’s odd, someone must really want to talk to me.” I was grateful my cell phone was in the other room, helping to minimize the distraction. So, I continued coaching my client, as we were making some amazing progress and I needed to stay focused. Then, a couple of minutes later, I received another call, and then another. I wondered if they had called my office line. As all my calls go straight into voicemail when I have a client, I glanced over at my phone, but the voicemail light was not on. Now I was distracted, but forced myself to focus, as I was almost done and would be able to attend to the pestering caller soon enough.
I got off the phone, pleased with the coaching call and happy that my client, for the first time in his 20 year career, was going to be pursuing something he truly had a passion for, rather than just doing a job he had landed in. As I stretched and started getting ready for my next client, my home phone range again. I leaped to get it and on the other end of the line was my brother-in-law. He was the one trying to get a hold of me and was the one with the task of sharing the “bad news” that my dad had a stroke. After asking all the key questions – “Is he lucid?”, “What hospital is he in?”, “Who’s with him?”, I got my stuff together, canceled my meetings and was off.
The good news is, my dad is doing quite well, and lucky for him, my mom noticed things were not right and immediately took him to the emergency room.
Although at that moment, when I first received the news, my world turned upside down, I did not let it derail me. I had my moments of feeling overwhelmed, but instead of wallowing, I stopped to think about what I needed to let go of in order to cope. I reached out to friends and colleagues and rearranged my schedule on a daily basis to accommodate spending time at the hospital. For two weeks I stretched my flexibility muscles, riding the wave of the moment, and I’m here to say, it is possible.
As layoffs continue to happen, as we are faced with more work to do with less resources, it is possible to ride this wave and survive. The key here is to allow yourself to ride the wave, to step back and let go of the things that aren’t helping, to ask others for support, and more importantly, to not lose sight of your goal, thus making it to the shore safely.
Dealing with tough times
Times are tough, no doubt about it. It is during times such as this that we are challenged at our very core. As some of us get swept up in the negativity, we begin to shift in ways that are far from good. It often starts subtly, like bad behaviors that creep back in. Those things we thought we had worked through, rear their ugly heads again. We start eating poorly and sleeping becomes a challenge. We obsess over the things we would never have given importance to when things were great. Sometimes we even see ourselves shifting and feel as though someone else is controlling us. We begin to pick fights with loved ones and argue over the smallest decisions. So what do you do about it? How do you maintain your sanity when there is so much to deal with out there?
First, you need to come to terms with the fact that things are always shifting and changing. Then you need to decide what things do you need to let go of so you can move forward? What do I mean by that? There are always behaviors, attitudes, thoughts, even relationships that may no longer be serving you. So ask yourself – “What do I need to let go of in order to continue moving forward?” Keep in mind, that as you let things go you will begin to feel lighter, freer and less susceptible to the negativity around you. Once you’ve got that taken care of, make a list of things you enjoy doing and go do them. Things that give you peace of mind and energy. It can be anything from listening to music to taking up a new hobby or volunteering. Whatever it is, it needs to be meaningful to you.
So to recap, your 3 steps for getting through these times are:
- Change is constant, so embrace it.
- Let go of things that no longer serve you (I let go of watching the news – too depressing).
- Start doing something that gives you energy (I started exercising and reading).
Don’t worry about dialing this in right away, you may need to try different things before you get to a balanced state of being, where you are the peace amidst all the chaos.
Leave comments about what you’ve let go of or have started doing, to help give others ideas!
Have you sparkled today?
by Silvia on January 16, 2009
in Coaching, Entrepreneur, General, Wellness
A business coach I’ve been working with is really big on “inquiries”, which are questions that you post somewhere to act as a reminder of something you’d like to work on.
Through the holidays mine was – “Have I been present and peaceful today?” It was the first time I used the technique, and found it extremely useful. Given that the holidays can be stressful enough on their own, it was great to be reminded to breathe. This worked so well for me, that I’ve adopted a new one – “Have I sparkled today?” And guess what? It makes me laugh every time I see the little green post-it with those words. It reminds me to not take myself or life so seriously and I find that I’m being even more productive!
So, I invite everyone to pick an inquiry for the week or for the month. The important thing is to have it be fun and be positive (no sense in having an inquiry that yells at you). I encourage you to post your inquiries in the comments section so that others can learn from you!
Bringing in the New Year
I am bringing in the new year with a whole lot of optimism and gratitude. I know that things will continue to improve on a global scale and I will continue to do my part to help them improve. I look and see many people not only surviving, but thriving. What makes them special? In all my research, training, reading, etc. I realize that it is the combination of optimism, gratitude and being true to who you are.
When you are being true to you and being grateful for what you have, it is much easier to have an optimistic view on life. This will then be the catalyst to help you manage your state of being and open you up to seeing all the possibilities around you. It will unlock your potential to solve what may have seemed like insurmountable obstacles. It will give you the key to enjoy your life and to live.
Why not give it a try? Here’s a quick tip on how to get yourself aligned to survive and thrive:
- What are you grateful for?
- Who do you need to be to be authentically you?
- What’s great about an obstacle in your life and how can you enjoy the process of resolving it?
Happy New Year!
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